Tag Archive: stress


“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.”   John 6:51

I love food.  I have always loved food.  Since very young I have been taught to enjoy inhale food, especially high caloric, high fat options.  I am an addict, and like a druggie grasping for a needle, pulling tightly on the elastic wrapped around my upper arm, desperate for quick release, a familiar euphoric state, just a moment of relief… I wildly search for my next fix.

I have been should be preparing a book proposal.  I have hundreds of short stories that I need to find a common ground, a thread of similarity, an iota of connection so I can organize them into a book that actually makes sense… by next week.

I have a publisher meeting with three different editors in 10 days, and I have no passion.  No drive.  No real hunger.

I sit down at my computer and look over these amazing stories God has given me, and I sort, shuffle, sift, and sort again.  I take some from one pile and shift to another.  I get up, walk to the kitchen to clear my head, open the fridge and close it again, stretch a bit, and return to the laptop only to shift things back to original positions.

I can’t find my way.  I can’t feel God’s leading or hear His voice.

My head falls into my palms as tears fall down my face.  I cry out for help, desperate for answers.

I push my chair back and head into the kitchen again.  I feel the cool air on my face and neck as I stand before the open freezer, looking for something, anything to move this writer’s block.

Mint chocolate chip.

Yup, that should do it.

I grab a spoon and dig in.  No need for a bowl.  I close my eyes as the creamy, cool, minty sweetness embraces my tongue and runs lazily down my throat.  A delightful moan passes my lips and I let out a contented sigh.

I put the gallon back into its frozen abode and head back to the computer.

I sit down, take a deep pacified breath, shuffle a few more stories, write a couple sentences, and my mind wanders.

Just one more spoonful.

I shake the thought off, and return my gaze to the computer screen unable to focus.  I start shifting stories again, exasperated huffs filling the room while I struggle with the layout.  I wriggle uncomfortably in my chair and exhale frustratingly.   I look away from the screen, close my eyes and irritatingly punch keys, trying to write.  My mind whirls as I muddle through words.

It all comes to a head and I stop typing.  I push back from the desk and move quickly toward the place I know I can find comfort, satisfaction, answers.  I yank open the freezer and grab my next fix.

Isn’t that just how our adversary wants us?  Desperate; grasping and clawing the air, trying to find delight and joy, comfort and peace, justification and answers in anything other than the One who can truly supply it?

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith… And the God of all grace…will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”   1 Peter 5:8-10

I have heard of people fasting, or giving up food for a specific amount of time in order to seek spiritual renewal or guidance.  A time for a person to spend praying specifically and strategically, humbling themselves so that the Holy Spirit will stir their soul.  But I have never understood it,

…until yesterday.

Yesterday I saw how easily I have allowed the devil to steal my focus, pillage my passion, and heist my devotion.  I have allowed him to seduce me and take my eyes off of Jesus, and I hadn’t even noticed.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”   James 4:7

Instead of finding satisfaction in my God, I sought out food.

Instead of finding delight and truth in His Word, I pursued fleeting joy.

Instead of true comfort and answers, I chased empty promises.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.”   John 6:53

No more.

 

I Spy little faith

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“For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”   Matthew 17:20

As most of you know I have registered for the She Speaks conference in July… a writer’s conference to help me (hopefully) be more effective with the stories God has given me to share, as well as guide my next steps in this calling (and amazing gift) I feel God has given me.

I’ve been stressing a bit because my financial support is not where I had hoped, three weeks before the due date of May 15th

{gulp…}

Plus, my job has been essentially phased out, so that financial reduction is not going to… y’know, make things easier.  So I decided I need to be proactive and host a Pampered Chef fundraising show.  Unfortunately because of the time constraints, and getting the scholarship money raised to She Speaks before May 15th, the only date available for the show would be THIS Friday.

{again, gulp!!}   Yeah, I’ve got a week.

So, like Noah, I got to work.  I sent out a BOAT-load (heehee) of emails and Facebook invites on Sunday hoping God will do something amazing this week.

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“By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.”   Hebrews 11:7

Shocker, He has already begun answering that prayer.

“But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”   James 1:6

I received two separate, yet nearly identical, messages Sunday night from two wonderful friends saying:

“I received your invite for the Pampered Chef fundraiser. I have to be honest though; I can’t cook worth a darn, and have so much expensive Pampered Chef stuff that rarely gets used. I would be happy to help you achieve your monetary goal though. If you would like, I could send you a check directly.”

I was blown away.

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”   Philippians 4:6

I was in high spirits heading to work on Monday, armed with catalogs and fliers to hand out at work, and immediately a couple co-workers approached me and said they wanted to place orders.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.”   Jeremiah 17:7

Then, my boss approached me and said:

“The doctors said that you can work two more weeks.”

{gulp.}

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”   Matthew 6:34

I took a deep breath, figured God had a plan, and am thankful for another two weeks of work…so I’ll make the best of my time.

When I got home and checked my email, I got a message indicating that another dear friend had already placed a significant order on Pampered Chef’s website…

“… your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”   Matthew 6:8

Then Jax called.  He got news that the company he has been contracting for has gotten approval to hire two contractors into full time positions, and Jax has been encouraged to apply.  Although we’ll have to wait for the final word next week, God is orchestrating all of this, and I praise Him for what He will do!!

“At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.”   Psalm 69:13

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