I Spy God

For any of you who know me…I can be somewhat of a procrastinator.  Sad truth…but still truth.  I have totally seen the power of God working in my life, and this particular plain old Thursday, wasn’t any different.

But, I’ll start from the beginning…

(Genesis 1:1) In the beginning, March 28 1973, God created… well, Me.

My whole life, I have loved music.  ALWAYS.  As a kid I was always singing, and much to the chagrin of my Mom, Dad, and especially sister, it was mostly Annie songs…

“The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun…”

Over,

and over,

and over,

and over … well, you get the idea.

Now, just TRY to get that song out of your head!

I was in choir at school, played the alto, bass & soprano saxophone in band, took organ lessons… and boy does that sure come in handy!  Mmm-hmmm, use it all the time!  (Sarcasm fully intended.)  I was in musicals, swing choir & vocal jazz in both high school and college, and loved every minute of it. It gave me great pleasure to perform…music just always satisfied me.

“equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”   Hebrews 13:21

When I came to know Christ in ’95, and I truly understood the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross in MY place, was when the music that so filled my soul, actually FILLED MY SOUL!! Now, instead of singing for my pleasure, I sing for God’s pleasure.  I can express myself and my love to Him through song — and I love that!!

“Addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,”   Ephesians 5:19

Before following God’s call to attend the church in the community He placed us in, I served on the worship team at our old churches and received such blessing and joy from it.  Since we’ve begun attending Hillcrest, God has placed a longing in my heart to share my passion for music and to serve in the worship ministry there.

However in order to do that, God kept pestering me to contact either the Associate Pastor or the worship ministry leader. Well…like I mentioned earlier, I am a procrastinator, and every day I prayed that God would “push me” to contact one of those fellows.

I never did.

“Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.”   Ephesians 4:28

Honestly, it was mostly because I didn’t want them to tell me I wasn’t good enough to be on the team, or they didn’t need me.  It’s much easier to not try out and long for it, than to put myself out there and have my dream crushed.

However, God has a way of making things happen whether we like it or not.  Several months into attending, one day after service God really was pushing me to go talk to the worship leader.  I made all the excuses not to – he was busy, I was busy, it was too late, we needed to go, etc…

So, I told God “NO!”

“A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools.”   Proverbs 26:3

Literally, at the very moment those words went through my head, God turned the worship leader to face me, making eye contact which pretty much seals the deal, and sent him in a bee-line DIRECTLY to me. I knew full well that God was sending him over, which touched me so much that I began to sob. Oh, and it wasn’t a tear or two it was shoulder-wrenching-snot-dripping sobs!!

When he finally reached me, I couldn’t even talk I was crying so hard!!  My husband and the worship leader just stood there dazed & confused, while looking at each other and back at me, simultaneously wondering “What the heck is her problem?” And with a shrug from my poor husband, the worship leader just looked at me sideways, asked if we needed anything, and graciously excused himself.

“serving the Lord with all humility and with tears…”   Acts 20:19a

Needless to say, I didn’t talk to him about worship and I went home defeated.

Over the next week God continued to gently suggest that I contact the Associate Pastor…but I made up all sorts of excuses not to.  Again, I told God “NO”…while still praying that He would “push me” to just suck it up and call…but I still didn’t.

Then it happened.  On just a plain old Thursday, I got home from running errands and there was a message from the Associate Pastor saying he had heard that I might be interested in being part of the worship team.

“And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”   Matthew 21:22

WHAAAAAAAT?!!!

Yeah, that was God…because CLEARLY I hadn’t said ANYTHING yet. Apparently He got tired of suggesting, and praise Him, made it VERY easy on me by working in the Associate Pastor’s heart to make it happen!! Oh Lord, thank you!! So, after I calmed down and stopped crying (this really has sort of become a theme with me since we started attending Hillcrest) I returned his call, set it up, and made plans to meet the following morning with he and the worship leader.

{gulp…}

God is so good.

My “audition” went well.  I absolutely love worshiping God in song, and that’s what I did with my brothers in Christ that morning.  It was amazing…and even if I wasn’t approved to serve on the worship team, I would give all my praise to God for how He works in my life, how incredibly wonderful He is, and I assure you I would most certainly continue to praise Him in worship with the congregation from the pews.

“I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving.”   Psalm 69:30

Thankfully, and for some crazy reason, God allowed those guys to momentarily lose all hearing or He allowed me to sound better than I am, because I was invited to join the team!!

Unbelievable.

It has been several years since that fateful moment that God worked so mightily to give me the desires of my heart, and I am still praising Him for allowing me to sing with such an amazing and talented worship team!

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.”   Psalm 28:7

As for right now, I am cautiously awaiting the day God opens their ears to hear that I really can’t sing…and until then, I will continue to sing to the King!!

“I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being.”   Psalm 104:33