Tag Archive: desire of our heart


Has God given you a promise that you aren’t sure He can fulfill?

Have you seen Him work and verify the calling He has made on your life, only to find yourself question and doubt whether it will come to fruition?

In who have you placed your trust?  Are you relying on God’s promises or your own ability?

There are so many stories in the Bible of God revealing His plan, and in response hearing an “are you out of your mind?!”

Sarah:
“The LORD said, ‘I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.’ And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, ‘After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?’  Genesis 18:10,12

The Shunammite woman:
“’At this season, about this time next year, you shall embrace a son.’ And she said, ‘No, my lord, O man of God; do not lie to your servant.’”  
2 Kings 4:16

Moses:
“’Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.’   But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?’”  
Exodus 3:10-11

Gideon:
“And the LORD turned to him and said, ‘Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?’ And he said to him, ‘Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.’”   Judges 6:14-15

Sounds familiar.

I have felt God’s strong presence and calling in my life to write.  He has provided many stories of amazing provision and proof of His existence that I long to share with those who don’t yet know Him, as well as to help encourage and realize His movement in the lives of those who do.

I have been filled with an unsettling beyond anything I’ve known.  An awareness of the path He wants me to take and yet the road stands before me; a path filled with light as well as shadow, straight, sure ground and questioning, uncertain curves.

I find myself shoulder to shoulder with those who have come before me, echoing their mistrust, questioning the One whose promises we are to rely on.  But no matter the make of the road or the curves that lie ahead, I will blindly follow while likely questioning the whole way, but in the wake of those who trod before me,

I will take one more step forward,

and trust that His plans are better than my own.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”   Proverbs 3:5-6

I was approached about being part of a band about a month ago, and if any of you know me AT ALL, I love to sing and I absolutely have no problem standing on a stage.  SO…when the offer came, I didn’t have to think very hard about the answer.

“But they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel.”   Psalm 106:13

I went to the first practice at the Madison Music Foundry; a real music recording studio, and I was like a little kid at Disneyland.  It was so cool!

I met the other band members there…three of whom I already knew and played with on the worship team at church, and three I hadn’t met before.  We made our introductions and when the guys started playing, I was awe-struck.

Steve “BigDaddy” played bass and tried to simultaneously play the trumpet which doesn’t work, but when he was able to wail on that horn he sounded like Dizzy Gillespie!  Sweet.  And when he sings?  He’s got so much soul, you need to question his upbringing…and his moves??  White boy has got some moves!

Greg, who I typically see playing guitar, was boss on drums hitting a stellar beat…and watching his face light up when he played was infectious!

Tom “TK” on guitar, has mad guitar playing skills and can improvise like a magician.  He has so much fun and so easily adds riffs and calls to a song, he makes a great song howl.

Now, I thought I was in amazing company watching these church boys kill it musically, but when I met the other guys…  whoa.

Pedro doesn’t say a lot…but clearly speaks through his guitar.  His fingers expertly fly over the strings and seriously plays like Jimi Hendrix.

Will was jamming on the hand drums and tambourine, but when he started singing?   Wow.  He has the sound and timing of Michael Jackson.  It was awesome!

But Dex, the coup de grace, the ringleader and bossman… plays crazy beat on the drums, writes his own music and lyrics, has a chocolaty smooth island voice and can rap…  aaaaahhhhh, heaven.  But when he pulled out his harmonica and started playing, I think my knees buckled.

 

Oh, such sweet sounds from this amazing group of musicians…I was waaaaaay out of my league.

“Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!”   Psalm 150:4

It was so fun, to just jam and sing, although everyone else was doing all the work!  You see, I don’t play much of anything, saxophone a while back, but don’t have a horn anymore…so now I just sing and reap all the rewards of being surrounded by gifted players.

These guys were amazing, and although I had at least heard most of the songs before, I didn’t always know exactly how the beat dropped or how the lyrics flowed, but they were so forgiving of the silly-little-star-struck girl standing awkwardly by her mic.

It was a true blessing to be part of this amazing group, and I was so excited when I came home from practice I could hardly stand it.  I learned a couple new songs that I totally loved and was eager to learn more.  My kids were excited, my husband too… in fact, the first thing he said was:

“You’re in a band.”

Even the girls at work were excited and “wouldn’t miss” seeing the performance!!  Unbelievable.  This is something I had always wanted to be part of.  Something I had always dreamed of…and now I had the chance!!  How could God provide even more of my dreams?!!

Amazing.

Over the next few weeks I noticed that practicing was a lot more time consuming than I had expected.  I essentially had to learn all of these songs over again – but this time the harmony part, and there were several songs I didn’t know which raised the ante a bit.

I had to prepare for my writer’s conference in July with a book manuscript and proposal to write, and I’ve been asked to sub at work much more frequently which the money will help immensely for my trip.  However, I quickly realized I had gotten myself in way over my head.

When I said yes to the writer’s conference, I prayed a lot over it – seeking guidance and council.  But over the band, I just jumped right in.  I had always wanted to sing in a group and I saw this as another amazing provision and gift from God…but as the weeks went by I found myself starting to not sleep well at night.

“I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.”   Psalm 16:7

I was concerned about the loss of writing time, that I didn’t really know the songs very well and stressing over the timing of everything…but I had made a commitment.  I had given my word.

“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes ‘ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.”   Matthew 5:37

I finally sat down and spent time talking to God about my concerns and asking for guidance and direction over what to do.  I voiced my concerns to one of the band members and he encouraged and assured me not to stress it and give me an out.  But I was most concerned about Dex.  I didn’t want to disappoint him, because I knew he was counting on each of us.

Praise God how He works…

It wasn’t but a couple days later that an email came from Dex saying that things just weren’t working out the way he had hoped, so he was canceling the gig.

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”   Isaiah 30:21

So I was free.  All God wanted was for me to acknowledge Him…to seek His leadership…and to ask for help.  A weight had been lifted and I was off the hook, but it broke my heart.

Had I not been called to write and had God not orchestrated all of the stories and provision for the conference, I would have totally been able to commit to the band.

But, isn’t it amazing how easily we can be distracted – even by things that seem like an answer to prayer – a long time “desire of our heart.”

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”   1 John  4:1

Even if it seems right, we MUST seek guidance from the Almighty.  We must make sure our will and step is in alignment with His…because it is possible for us to be lured by the adversary…

our longings met by the one whose promises are empty…

who convinces us we are doing fine on our own.

When we truly seek guidance from the One who longs for our attention, He might just allow us to see that those “desires of our heart” have already been fulfilled.

“Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.’”   Isaiah 48:17

I am in a band.

I am able to perform weekly, on a large stage, under hot lights, with live mic’s, in a group of outstandingly talented musicians.

And to be a part of a band who plays for God’s pleasure and to worship Him??  Greatest gift and blessing ever…

and EXACTLY what I have always wanted.

The song I fell in love with during my brief stint in a rock band:

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