Tag Archive: adversary


“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.”   John 6:51

I love food.  I have always loved food.  Since very young I have been taught to enjoy inhale food, especially high caloric, high fat options.  I am an addict, and like a druggie grasping for a needle, pulling tightly on the elastic wrapped around my upper arm, desperate for quick release, a familiar euphoric state, just a moment of relief… I wildly search for my next fix.

I have been should be preparing a book proposal.  I have hundreds of short stories that I need to find a common ground, a thread of similarity, an iota of connection so I can organize them into a book that actually makes sense… by next week.

I have a publisher meeting with three different editors in 10 days, and I have no passion.  No drive.  No real hunger.

I sit down at my computer and look over these amazing stories God has given me, and I sort, shuffle, sift, and sort again.  I take some from one pile and shift to another.  I get up, walk to the kitchen to clear my head, open the fridge and close it again, stretch a bit, and return to the laptop only to shift things back to original positions.

I can’t find my way.  I can’t feel God’s leading or hear His voice.

My head falls into my palms as tears fall down my face.  I cry out for help, desperate for answers.

I push my chair back and head into the kitchen again.  I feel the cool air on my face and neck as I stand before the open freezer, looking for something, anything to move this writer’s block.

Mint chocolate chip.

Yup, that should do it.

I grab a spoon and dig in.  No need for a bowl.  I close my eyes as the creamy, cool, minty sweetness embraces my tongue and runs lazily down my throat.  A delightful moan passes my lips and I let out a contented sigh.

I put the gallon back into its frozen abode and head back to the computer.

I sit down, take a deep pacified breath, shuffle a few more stories, write a couple sentences, and my mind wanders.

Just one more spoonful.

I shake the thought off, and return my gaze to the computer screen unable to focus.  I start shifting stories again, exasperated huffs filling the room while I struggle with the layout.  I wriggle uncomfortably in my chair and exhale frustratingly.   I look away from the screen, close my eyes and irritatingly punch keys, trying to write.  My mind whirls as I muddle through words.

It all comes to a head and I stop typing.  I push back from the desk and move quickly toward the place I know I can find comfort, satisfaction, answers.  I yank open the freezer and grab my next fix.

Isn’t that just how our adversary wants us?  Desperate; grasping and clawing the air, trying to find delight and joy, comfort and peace, justification and answers in anything other than the One who can truly supply it?

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith… And the God of all grace…will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”   1 Peter 5:8-10

I have heard of people fasting, or giving up food for a specific amount of time in order to seek spiritual renewal or guidance.  A time for a person to spend praying specifically and strategically, humbling themselves so that the Holy Spirit will stir their soul.  But I have never understood it,

…until yesterday.

Yesterday I saw how easily I have allowed the devil to steal my focus, pillage my passion, and heist my devotion.  I have allowed him to seduce me and take my eyes off of Jesus, and I hadn’t even noticed.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”   James 4:7

Instead of finding satisfaction in my God, I sought out food.

Instead of finding delight and truth in His Word, I pursued fleeting joy.

Instead of true comfort and answers, I chased empty promises.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.”   John 6:53

No more.

 

I was approached about being part of a band about a month ago, and if any of you know me AT ALL, I love to sing and I absolutely have no problem standing on a stage.  SO…when the offer came, I didn’t have to think very hard about the answer.

“But they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel.”   Psalm 106:13

I went to the first practice at the Madison Music Foundry; a real music recording studio, and I was like a little kid at Disneyland.  It was so cool!

I met the other band members there…three of whom I already knew and played with on the worship team at church, and three I hadn’t met before.  We made our introductions and when the guys started playing, I was awe-struck.

Steve “BigDaddy” played bass and tried to simultaneously play the trumpet which doesn’t work, but when he was able to wail on that horn he sounded like Dizzy Gillespie!  Sweet.  And when he sings?  He’s got so much soul, you need to question his upbringing…and his moves??  White boy has got some moves!

Greg, who I typically see playing guitar, was boss on drums hitting a stellar beat…and watching his face light up when he played was infectious!

Tom “TK” on guitar, has mad guitar playing skills and can improvise like a magician.  He has so much fun and so easily adds riffs and calls to a song, he makes a great song howl.

Now, I thought I was in amazing company watching these church boys kill it musically, but when I met the other guys…  whoa.

Pedro doesn’t say a lot…but clearly speaks through his guitar.  His fingers expertly fly over the strings and seriously plays like Jimi Hendrix.

Will was jamming on the hand drums and tambourine, but when he started singing?   Wow.  He has the sound and timing of Michael Jackson.  It was awesome!

But Dex, the coup de grace, the ringleader and bossman… plays crazy beat on the drums, writes his own music and lyrics, has a chocolaty smooth island voice and can rap…  aaaaahhhhh, heaven.  But when he pulled out his harmonica and started playing, I think my knees buckled.

 

Oh, such sweet sounds from this amazing group of musicians…I was waaaaaay out of my league.

“Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!”   Psalm 150:4

It was so fun, to just jam and sing, although everyone else was doing all the work!  You see, I don’t play much of anything, saxophone a while back, but don’t have a horn anymore…so now I just sing and reap all the rewards of being surrounded by gifted players.

These guys were amazing, and although I had at least heard most of the songs before, I didn’t always know exactly how the beat dropped or how the lyrics flowed, but they were so forgiving of the silly-little-star-struck girl standing awkwardly by her mic.

It was a true blessing to be part of this amazing group, and I was so excited when I came home from practice I could hardly stand it.  I learned a couple new songs that I totally loved and was eager to learn more.  My kids were excited, my husband too… in fact, the first thing he said was:

“You’re in a band.”

Even the girls at work were excited and “wouldn’t miss” seeing the performance!!  Unbelievable.  This is something I had always wanted to be part of.  Something I had always dreamed of…and now I had the chance!!  How could God provide even more of my dreams?!!

Amazing.

Over the next few weeks I noticed that practicing was a lot more time consuming than I had expected.  I essentially had to learn all of these songs over again – but this time the harmony part, and there were several songs I didn’t know which raised the ante a bit.

I had to prepare for my writer’s conference in July with a book manuscript and proposal to write, and I’ve been asked to sub at work much more frequently which the money will help immensely for my trip.  However, I quickly realized I had gotten myself in way over my head.

When I said yes to the writer’s conference, I prayed a lot over it – seeking guidance and council.  But over the band, I just jumped right in.  I had always wanted to sing in a group and I saw this as another amazing provision and gift from God…but as the weeks went by I found myself starting to not sleep well at night.

“I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.”   Psalm 16:7

I was concerned about the loss of writing time, that I didn’t really know the songs very well and stressing over the timing of everything…but I had made a commitment.  I had given my word.

“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes ‘ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.”   Matthew 5:37

I finally sat down and spent time talking to God about my concerns and asking for guidance and direction over what to do.  I voiced my concerns to one of the band members and he encouraged and assured me not to stress it and give me an out.  But I was most concerned about Dex.  I didn’t want to disappoint him, because I knew he was counting on each of us.

Praise God how He works…

It wasn’t but a couple days later that an email came from Dex saying that things just weren’t working out the way he had hoped, so he was canceling the gig.

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”   Isaiah 30:21

So I was free.  All God wanted was for me to acknowledge Him…to seek His leadership…and to ask for help.  A weight had been lifted and I was off the hook, but it broke my heart.

Had I not been called to write and had God not orchestrated all of the stories and provision for the conference, I would have totally been able to commit to the band.

But, isn’t it amazing how easily we can be distracted – even by things that seem like an answer to prayer – a long time “desire of our heart.”

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”   1 John  4:1

Even if it seems right, we MUST seek guidance from the Almighty.  We must make sure our will and step is in alignment with His…because it is possible for us to be lured by the adversary…

our longings met by the one whose promises are empty…

who convinces us we are doing fine on our own.

When we truly seek guidance from the One who longs for our attention, He might just allow us to see that those “desires of our heart” have already been fulfilled.

“Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.’”   Isaiah 48:17

I am in a band.

I am able to perform weekly, on a large stage, under hot lights, with live mic’s, in a group of outstandingly talented musicians.

And to be a part of a band who plays for God’s pleasure and to worship Him??  Greatest gift and blessing ever…

and EXACTLY what I have always wanted.

The song I fell in love with during my brief stint in a rock band:

WYSO Peru Tour 2018

Follow WYSO'S Youth Orchestra As They Tour Peru

Barefoot Lily Lady

Before I Forget: Sharing my love for God, family, gardens and my sweet Momma

Teach Them

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Marilyn Horton

"The Most Optimistic Woman in the World"

His Holy Temple

2 Corinthians 5:17b "The old has gone, the new is here!"

Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude

Healthy lifestyler and certified nutjob

Never2late4's Blog

Adventures in procrastination

likeafighterpilot

Working on the Mind, Body, and Spirit

DREADmill Diaries

Because I don't love running but am determined to get these 20 pounds off!

Running With'em

Another boring running blog

Women Writers of the Triad

community | craft | excellence

See Jain Run

striving for non-violence while trit-trotting through the mainstream

voxifit

The Voice of Fitness Blog

If there is any magic in this world...

The world can be amazing when you are slightly … strange!

Ugly Grace

Because sometimes, God's grace in our lives, starts first with an ugly story.

Godly Quotes

for the christian life

Rome Wasn't Built by a Day

Providing unsolicited two-sense and witty commentary since 2012

Michael Wilson's Blog

All things are possible with God

%d bloggers like this: