If you want to start a relationship with someone; whether it be for friendship or romance, how do you begin?

What steps do you take to get to know a person?

wikiHow answered that question with seven steps:

  Ask Questions

Essentially, you need to ask questions to get to know this person better and open ended questions are best, of course, to allow a comfortable flow in conversation.  The point here is to get to know whatever you can about this person.

  Keep Conversations Active

You want to make sure the other person knows you’re interested in what they’re saying.  Pay attention and respond physically by nodding your head, using facial expressions and above all, looking the person in the eye!

  Verbally Respond

Ask more questions if the person is interested in something you know little about.  Keep the conversation going…and to quote wikiHow:

“Convince yourself that you want to know, and soon you will be having a very engaging conversation.”

  Plan Activities

Spend as much time as you can with the person; outings, phone, email, etc…  It will show them that you’re interested and allow you to get to know them better.

  Be Honest

If you are open and honest with the person, it will not only allow them to get to know you better but also allow them to trust you enough to be honest with you as well.

  Be Interesting

Share interesting things about yourself, your family, your background which will encourage them to tell you more interesting things about themselves.


Ok, so it doesn’t actually tell you to bribe them, but flattery does work.  As I told my kids when they were first starting school, if there was someone they wanted to become friends with, compliment them, bring a treat or offer one from your snack or lunch and be sure to share.  (Chocolate works well…)  No one wants to be friends with someone who’s selfish.

These seven steps are good, but I’ve thought of a few more…


The best way to get to know someone is to, like #4, spend as much time with them as you can but especially in different situations and with different people.  You can learn a lot from a person just by watching how they act with others; parents, friends, children, teachers, at church, at school, at a restaurant, etc…


They say…”attitude is everything” and when it comes to starting a relationship, I believe that is true.  People are naturally drawn to and want to be around others who are kind, optimistic, fun, energetic, confident and happy.


I would love to hear from you!!

Do you have any other other ideas or suggestions?
What, to you, is most important when starting a new relationship?
Please share them here or contact me directly at  ispygod@gmail.com



Related posts/articles
How to Get to Know Someone   (http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page)
How to Get to Know Someone Better   (http://www.ehow.com/ehow-mom/)
How to Get to Know Someone   (http://www.ehow.com/ehow-mom/)
12 Things Happy People do Differently   (http://www.marcandangel.com/)